is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
