Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
