then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
