im drinking this country out of the recession.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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