how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
zippers are such a cool invention
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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