ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
3 2 1 whiskey
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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