eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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