ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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