I must be too annoying 4 u.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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