I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
