I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
ttyl tear gas
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
