idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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