Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i believe in u and ur pee
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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