Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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