I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
