we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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