I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
