Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
