i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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