Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
