my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
