Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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