I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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