you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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