all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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