This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
