Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
