I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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