she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I need to calm my uterus...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
