So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
