you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
