you win again, gameday.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
