You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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