I bet he comes in French.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
