I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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