$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
