dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
