I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
