found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
