Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
