Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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