Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just invented taco cereal.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
