I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
