i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
