Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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