I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
