Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
