i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
