I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
sex in a hospital.. check
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
