I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
