i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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