You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
