you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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